Mole of Asia
October 29, 2009 by orlando
Filed under Pinoy Jokes and Trivias
PILITA CORRALES – Asia ‘s Queen of Song.
LANI MISALUCHA – Asia ‘s Nightingale.
REGINE VELASQUEZ – Asia ‘s Song Bird.
GLORIA MACAPAGAL ARROYO – “Mole of Asia”
JUAN; Tay ! Penge P20 bibili ako ng de lata.
TATAY: Anak, mga taga bukid lang ang gumagamit ng term na de lata! Englisin mo yan!
JUAN: Paano?
TATAY: KANG GUD!
FATHER MOTHER I
In the Philippines, most kids in private schools are forced to speak English at all times. A kid who just came from the province and who barely speaks the language tried his best to do so.
One day, the kid needed to go to the bathroom so bad but he didn’t know what to tell his teacher. He raised his hand and said, “guro, pwede po bang pumunta nang banyo?” (meaning, teacher may I go to the bathroom?’)
Since the boy didn’t speak English, the teacher pretended that she didn’t hear him. The boy said to himself, “what should I say (in Filipino, of course)”. Then suddenly, the boy raised his hand and said, “FATHER, MOTHER, I”, and quickly rushed out the door and to the bathroom.
The teacher wondered what the boy meant. 15 minutes later, the boy came back. The teacher asked him where he went. He said that he went to the bathroom and he needed to go really bad. Then she asked what he meant when he said ‘FATHER, MOTHER, I’.
The boy then explained, “FATHER in filipino meant TATA, MOTHER in filipino meant INA and I in filipino meant AKO
PINOY AT BREAKFAST:
Pinoy goes to order breakfast at a coffee shop in Manhattan…
Waiter: “What kind of coffee would you like, regular or decaf?”
Pinoy: “No… Big cup! Big cup!”
Waiter: “What would you like for your breakfast?”
Pinoy: “Hameneggs.”
Waiter: “And how do you like your eggs, sir?”
Pinoy: “Yes, tenkyu, I like dem beri much.”
Waiter: “No sir, I mean how would you like them cooked?”
Pinoy: “Yes, tenkyu, I wud like dem cooked.”
Waiter (with increasing impatience): “Would you like your eggs… fried? poached? hard boiled or soft boiled?”
Pinoy (with increasing uneasiness): “Yes, one fried en one hard boiled or sop boiled.”
Waiter: “And what bread would you like?”
Pinoy: “Begyurpardon?”
Waiter: “What kind of bread would you like… white? rye? whole wheat? toast?”
Pinoy: “Pan Amercano…”
Waiter: “We don’t have that…”
Pinoy: “Okey. Gib me Taystee…”
Waiter: “We don’t have that either, sir…”
Pinoy: “Do you heb pan de lemon or bonete?”
Waiter: “Sir, you are wasting my time… I shall ask for the last time, what would you like for breakfast?”
Pinoy: “Donut plis…”
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