Itlog
March 2, 2010 by orlando
Filed under Pinoy Jokes and Trivias
Two wives are buying an itlog in the local market.
Wife 1: You know mare, whenever I see an itlog na pula naaalala ko ang itlog ng mister ko.
Wife 2: Bakit??? Ganyan ba kapula???
Wife 1: Hindi, ganyan kaalat!!!
Two wives are buying gulay in the local market.
Wife 1: You know mare, whenever I see a potato naaalala ko ang itlog ng mister ko.
Wife 2: Bakit??? Ganyan ba kalaki???
Wife 1: Hindi, ganyan kadumi!!!
ANO SA ENGLISH TO?
Ang English ng nagpakamatay, Suicide.
Namatay sa bahay, Homicide.
Namatay dahil sa daga, Pesticide.
Namatay na magkatabi, Sidebyside.
Namatay habang nakikipagtalik, Insexticide.
ENGLISH TO PINOY TRANSALATION
Aspect: pantusok / pandurog ng yelo
City: bago mag-ocho
Deduct: ang bibe
Defeat: ang paa
Deposit: ang gripo
Detail: ang buntot
Devastation: istasyon ng bus
Effort: kung saan nagla-landing ang erflane
Melt: ngamit mantali sa mewang mara indi maulog ang mantalon
Persuading: unang kasal
Predicate: pakawalan mo ang pusa
Statue: ikaw ba ‘yan?
A nurse who works in America, New York to be exact, wanted to
make an overseas phone call to the Philippines, so she dialed
the operator…
Nurse: “Operator I would like to place an overseas call to the Philippines “.
Operator: “OK, miss, what is your name?”
Nurse: “Maria Quintero”
Operator: “Could you please spell your last name Maria?”
Nurse: “Ok, Quintero…
Q as in Cuba …
U as in Europe …
I as in eyebrow…
N as in pneumonia…
T as in ptyalin…
E as in India …
R as in Argentina …
O as in Australia .
ANONG MABILIS PUMUTI…
Tanong: Anong mabilis pumuti, buhok sa itaas o buhok sa ibaba?
Sagot: Buhok sa itaas - kase ang buhok sa itaas puro problema, pero ang buhok sa ibaba puro ligaya…
ERAP JOKES…
Erap: Pareng Ronnie, akyat ka sa puno, pisilin mo bunga kung hinog na..
FPJ: Okay…
(Umakyat at pinisil ang bunga)
FPJ: Oo pare hinog na…
Erap: Sige baba ka na, sungkitin natin
Birthday ni Erap…
FVR: Erap, may gift ako para sa’yo, galing pa ng India!
It’s a 10 ft. Snake…
Erap: Niloloko mo ba ako?!…10 ft.?,
Hoy di ako ganon ka tanga!. Ang Snake walang FEET!
MEETING WITH VISITING PRESIDENTS…
President ng Russia, America at walang iba ang Philippines !!!
Etong tatlong presidents hangang hanga sa sarili nila nagpayabangan sila sa isa’t isa:
Mr. president of Russia :
WE ARE THE FIRST IN SPACE !!!
Mr. president ng America :
We are first in the moon !!!
Erap-presidente ng philippines :
We will BE the first in the sun !!!
“Nagtataka ang dalawa at tinanung si Erap kung panu magagawa ng pilipino yon….”
Sagot ni erap “WE ARE NOT STUPID, WE WILL GO THERE AT NIGHT
It is said that there is a magic mirror in Malacanang that slaps anybody who tells a lie.
Sen. Juan Flavier passed by the mirror and said “I think I’m tall,” and the mirror slapped him.
Then came President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo. “I think I’m the prettiest woman in the Philippines,”
and the mirror slapped her.
Then passed President Erap and said “I think . . .,” and the mirror slapped him.
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