How how could you tell if it’s a Pinoy Party?
March 26, 2009 by patti-patti
Filed under Pinoy Jokes and Trivias
How could you tell if it’s a Pinoy Party? (As observed by our US native sons and daughters.)
- You’re an hour late and there is still nobody else there!
- There’s enough food to feed the people of the Philippines.
- You can’t even get through the door because there’s a pile of 50 shoes blocking the way.
- When you see a huge fork and spoon on the wall, a framed picture of the Last Supper, a huge Santo Niño, and the famous Baguio barrel man.
- When they start singing “Peelings” on karaoke.
- The piano in the living room is just there for decoration and to display framed pictures on.
- No one really plays the piano unless you count the piano lesson your parents forced you to go to when you were 8 years.
- When you hear an Uncle traumatize one of the female cousins by saying, “Oh, You’re a big girl now!” instead of “You’re all grownup.”
- When your puppy goes missing and you start thinking that it may be in your dinner.
- When they give you extra adobo for your office ba-on the next day.
- There’s a lechon (Roast Pig) as a table centerpiece with all the crispy skins gone except for the pig’s head which is saved for “paksiw” for the host family’s next day meal.
- The living room is tiled, not carpeted because the furniture has been cleared out for karaoke and dancing.
- When the drunk uncles in the backyard don’t even bother going to the bathroom to take a pee - the rose bush is designated to be the community urinal..
- I find it hilarious when my old Navy retired Ilocano Manong Uncles see old friends at a party. All I hear is, “UKI NAM , LAKAY! LONG TIME NO SEE!” Or “PARE KO! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING?” And then they start telling sea stories of Navy adventures for old time’s sake.
- When you are greeted by an old lady named Tita Baby and/or an old-timer uncle named Tito Boy.
- When the older men are in the garage playing posoy-dos, poker or mah-jong, the women are in the kitchen gossiping or talking about the latest on soap opera drama on TFC.
- You’re told only to walk on the plastic floor runners.
- There’s special kilawen goat ‘pulutan’ and pinapaitan bitter-sour soup, a favorite of the Ilocano guests.
- Parents expect you to be best friends with their friends’ kids just because they grew up as best friends back in the Philippines .
- When you enter a family party and you “Manong” half the old crowd and when you leave you have to say goodbye to EVERYONE that’s related to you as a sign of respect. You end up saying hello and goodbye for a total of 30-40 minutes.
- You know you’re at a Filipino party when you hear a male’s voice on the karaoke trying to emulate Frank Sinatra’s “My Way”.
- Women are doing the line dancing- todo-todo, bosa nova, electric slide, etc., while men are just watching and drinking.
- When there’s at least one or more with the name: JP,JT,TJ,DJ,AJ,RJ,LJ, and funny names such as Nene, Linlin, Bingbing, Tingting, Dingding, Wenwen, Jojo, Bongbong, Toto, Dingdong, Popoi, Jayjay, Cocoy, etc.
- The parents show off how talented their kid is by forcing them to sing or play an instrument in front of their guests.
- All the old aunties are already wrapping up foods to take home when the party is not over yet and some guests are still coming.
- You have the Pacquiao fight on the illegal cable boxes on the 70″ LCD in the movie room, the 10 yr old 50″ CRT in the living room, the 15 yr old 30″ tube in the breakfast nook,& nbsp; the 20 yr old 15″ tube in the kitchen, the 30 yr old 13″ tube in the garage and the little portable by the BBQ grill, because TVs are NEVER retired in a Filipino household, they merely get demoted to whichever room doesn’t have a TV yet(hahaha),then it ends up in the balikbayan box to be sent to a relative back home, and it ends up being the main TV at their sala house again.
- The leftover food can be recycled into another dish later on that week.
- When someone is encouraging you to eat the “chocolate meat”(dinuguan) and “Kare-kare”with tripes and ox tails in peanut butter sauce complete with “alamang” on the side.
- There’s a token white guy there in the corner that’s responsible for bringing one of your aunts over from the Philippines by marrying her.
- The Aunties are showing off their “designer” Louis Vuitton and Coach bags that they secretly bought at a swap-meet in the Philippines.
- Someone is always in the kitchen constantly cleaning up, and you’re not sure if she’s the maid or a relative, so you greet and kiss her on the cheek anyway, just in case.
- When no matter how many times you politely protest, refuse, or say you’re full, you’re still forced to eat food and even then, end up bringing at least 2 Tupperware containers worth of stuff home.
- They constantly ask if you have a gf/bf, or if you’re married yet, and when you say “No” they’re like “Oh why not?” and then they just so happen to know someone to hook you up with that’s “perfect” for you.
- An Auntie or Manang asks, “Did you ETTTTTT?”
You say, “Yes, Auntie, I’m full ! ” and she says, “We hab plinti of good food, you ETTTTT.!”
- Relatives will ask you where you worked and if it’s a retail job or if you work at an amusement park, they’ll ask if you can get them a discount.
- Everybody has there own magic mic with “their” songs.
- When you see banana ketchup (Mafran), patis or bagoong on the table.
- After the party, you’re helping clean up and your auntie tells you, “Anak, put the ‘kwan’ next to the ‘ano’.”
- The lumpia is gone in 5 minutes and they are frying up another batch.
- They play achy-breaky heart over and over again.
- I like how the religious gatherings at the house turn into an illegal gambling set up by the end of the night.
- The room is full of Uncles and Aunties that you aren’t even blood related to.
And that’s why Pinoy parties are always a blast!
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